Wow. I am ready to take a nap now and it is only 9am. I am certain I will make it to noon with no problems but I had no idea that the little cramping bugger in my uterus was going to make me sooo dang tired. Yup, still cramping occassionally and I can only guess that room is being made where none currently exists for growth. I can't help but think that at any moment I am going to puff up into a giant marshmallow. I know going from a size 10 to a size 20 isn't really going to happen, is it? But it is nautral to worry that somehow I won't do the pregnancy right.. I mean don't we all have that fear alittle?

Last night we had a hysterical hormone surge. I was driving to radio shack with hubs and telling him about my recent trip to the humane society where I managed to not bring any animals home but that there were sooo many of them there and they needed good homes. I started to cry before even getting out the words that I had been to the humane society shelter for pets. He looked at me as though a mad woman was driving the car, because of course I was driving and sobbing at the same time and not really forming coherent sentences. Then it struck me totally funny and I began to howl with laughter too. Not a soft giggle but a deep cackling kind of belly laugh. Wow, yes, he did look really alarmed at that point. Almost scared. I can't say I blame him- It alarmed me a bit too. All of a sudden I am talking and then I am just way off the deep end. And then it passes like it was never there.

Otherwise, this morning I woke up burping-- seems to be all I am doing. And I have a slight feeling that I am moving when I am not. Makes for a real thrill when I am in the shower and feeling like I could topple over should a wave hit the bow of the tub. It doesn't last long and it kind of reminds me when I travel for work alot-- where even after I stop travelling I still feel like I am moving. Not really much different from the IVF drugs really-- I can't remember which one gave me this sensation but it only lasted a short time. I am catching up on my blog reading and if I haven't made it around to comment on your blog yet-- know that I am reading to catch up this week.

Ok, Nothing major to update really- but I thought I'd mention for the other women that are still cycling that I have no symptoms of pregnancy still. Yup. No extraordinary signs and I look pretty much the same as I alway have. I have no blue veins, no dark areolas, no morning sickness yet, no getting up in the middle of the night any more than I normally do- and no real fatique any different than the normal fatigue I'd feel on progesterone shots. I have no light headedness, no spotting or heatburn or constipation. Nothing really-- though I do still have cramping in what feels like mild period cramps-- that would be the only significant sign and if the blood test didn't come back with 2 positives I'd swear my period was going to start any time now. So as head into your 2ww, breathe and try not to read into the symptoms.

I can give you a update on my PIO shots. Yup. The leg is definately out. We returned to the tush last night-- and today my leg is *still* swollen and I am hobbling around like I was wounded on the football field. No real differentiation between my knee and thigh currently-- but it does hurt alittle less. Looks way way worse and hurts less. I figure I will just keep off it and see what happens-- but if you are comtemplating PIO shots-- aim for your backside. I speak from experience now. I guess someone had to try it...

What no one really tells you about PIO shots. FIRST - let me start with the update that my betas were 16 on dpo 11 and 76 on dpo 13. I looked at the betabase site and still have not figured out if this means one or two-- any votes on this?

So yeah, I am getting the hang for the PIO shot-- and I will be the first to admit that despite the excellent training my neighbor has provided both to me and hubs, we discovered this morning that we are having a small problem with them.
Administering them, not really the issue. Yes, hubs gets pale and clammy and beer seems to help with this. It also helps to have him sit down next to me to administer the shot. And he is going a great job-- the needle only hurts at the dermal layer and once we are through that -- it's a piece of cake.

So what is the problem? Well, it's the day after. Taking the shot- no big deal. And we have been doing them in the thigh for about 3 days now to give my tushy a rest and because my neighbor was kind enough to help us draw of map on my legs of where we could inject IM, heck I can even self inject at this point. But the entire thigh muscle the morning after an injection-- every single inch of it from the top of my thigh to the side of my knee- aches. I keep looking to see if it is swollen and black- it sure feels like it should. I can't even comfortably rest my laptop on my legs- it hurts to touch the more recent side we used! I am hobbling around the house - and my grandmother in her 90s could easily run circles around me with her walker!

So I tried heating pad to lessen the pain-- temporary at best-- and I tried massaging it as well-- which I do regularly after the injection-- but it just feels plain bad the next morning still. Most folks don't do the legs-- I am guessing this must be why? Today I tried walking it out- thinking the muscle just needs to stretch a bit-- it loosens and then tightens back up when I am off it for a few minutes. Doesn't seem to be helping. Any thoughts on how to make the remaining 5 days less painful? Anyone know at what point you can beg your RE for the weekly progesterone shot? And how long will I be taking these shots while pg?

First let me ask everyone to pop on over to kris @babyproof and give her some love. She is having a rough cycle, and she has more eloquence and strength than I can ever hope to have- my heart goes out to her.

I never got around to the POAS method we intended to do to brace ourselves for the doctors call. I just couldn't bring myself to spend the money on one and my neighbor was on vacation so she did not bring one home from work. Hubs and I just passed the tired baton back and forth all weekend. When I was feeling up, he was exhausted and when he felt rested I was tired. It was an out of sync weekend- but we both got plenty of rest. I got the call from the RE yesterday. I wanted to wait until Hubs and I had talked before posting.

We are both alittle tentative, and I keep thinking maybe the lab somehow got me confused with another IFer. It came back positive. We are both happy, mostly stunned really. And very very tentative-- as we all know-- getting this far is only half the battle. We are keeping it fairly quiet til we pass the 10 week mark. It's the same theory that we applied to the previous testing-- we don't want to blast out to the world that we are pregnant- and then have something go wrong and have to live the let down over and over each time we repeat it. We are comforted that his boys can find the target and when placed in the appropriate circumstances it does all work. Cool. That only took a few years. I have no idea how this actually happens naturally for most people.

We went over to the neighbors house and got instructions on self administering the PIO shots. Looks like we'll be doing this for awhile. I have lovely permanent ink on my legs (I was afraid it would wash off otherwise) so I can find the right spots to do them while she is out of town. I did my left thigh last night all by my self. Hubs drank a glass of wine as though it were a shot of something and watched while turning kind of pale. The idea was that we both learn how to do them- but it may be better if I do it- he didn't look so good last night. When we go for lesson #2 tonite, I think we ought to consider giving him something stronger than red wine.

I'll still be here- reading your posts, and cheering you all on and sending Hugs your way. I also have some meno*pur and PIO in sesame oil that needs a new home. The stuff is dang expensive so if I can save someone else the cost of a box or two. Let me know if you need it -I am happy to send it on it's way.

And the answer is?

We still have no clue how the next few days will turn out- really not even an inkling of a guess but we are moving into self preservation mode just out of habit. 1st beta tomorrow and the 2nd beta on monday. The Dr will call after monday and let us know the results-- but I have to say we are considering the POAS (the pee-on-a-stick for those not familiar with acronym) method this weekend because we'd like to be prepared to talk to the doctor and I don't think we will be if we are shocked by the news, good or bad. They ought to be able to have someone call and tell you the results then hang up really really fast so they can't hear your reaction.

We talked about it last night and Hubs was pretty bummed that I have been cramping for the past day or so. I know, I know. It could totally be the little embie digging in-- and I know I am especially sensitive to just about everything out there except for fertility drugs-- so there is a chance that it's not period related. I mean we all know that symptoms mean NOTHING in this process. But to be cautionary we are asking family and friends to assume it is a Negative unless we tell them otherwise.

We aren't doing this because we are negative thinkers-- we are doing it because it is self preservation. I swear, my fingers and toes are crossed and we'd pretty much bargain off our grumpy dog and our ancient honda for a tiny bundle of joy. It doesn't seem like it but we are sane people and for all you non IFers out there I can explain. Imagine wanting to have any personal life goal, then not suceeding and having to tell 35 people you didn't make it, yeah sadly they don't all gather in one large room so you have to say it over and over and over... Now imagine having told them the exact same thing 5 times prior. Yeah, it is demoralizing. It would be that way whether it was a child or any other life goal you set for yourself you didn't achieve. I think I'd prefer to have my grumpy dog running me over in my old honda than to have that conversation 35 more times. So for the sake of not having to experience any of that- we opted for the above "It's Negative until we say otherwise" method. I mean I can't make the dog stop barking- I suspect I won't be much better at teaching her to drive :)

So yeah, cramping-- but---no blood. As far as I am concern--no massive amount of blood and 2 betas tests to go--means we are still way in the game.

I seemed to have worked out the noise issue with my neighbor-- he was asleep through it- and he says that it won't happen again- they should not have it on that late. His wife, still not taking it well- and ironically is giving me the silent treatment. Her husband says to enjoy it. Since I don't generally chat with them- it isn't really affecting us in any way. So problem pretty much solved-- though a good friend of mine suggested I consider buying a universal remote to just turn off their TV when it is on too loud. Hmmm, I have no idea if that would really work but I admit it sounds intriguing. The only downside of it is that it just isn't good communication and I'd rather communicate and do the right thing. The only person who seems to have a problem with it is the silent treatment lady- but I figure that if this is how she deals with conflict then it's proably better she isn't speaking :)

Both hubs and I awoke this morning with headaches-- and I am glad it was both of us-- if it were just me I'd think it was the monthly pms headache. I have bruises all over my tushie from the PIO shots. So far they hurt when I first get shot-- understandable because it is a really really big needle and then I use a heating pad and rub the area. A few knots and bruises and once or twice I was alittle itchy after the shot and the area around it was red. it went away so it is all good. I do my first blood test on friday and then a second one on monday-- they don't tell me the results until after the monday test. Fine with me- heck a few more days isn't going to change the outcome whatever it is.

I just want to let the other cyclers out there know that my thoughts are with you all -- and I spend a bit of time each day focused on you and hoping you achieve your wishes.

"...Oh the noise, noise, noise, noise! If there's one thing I hate...oh the noise, noise, noise, noise!" The Grinch

Yes, I have a non-ivf related rant today. I am on the final day of bed rest - and I took thalia's advice (thankyou) and got up so I would no longer die of boredom or starvation. I was running out of things to do- and Hubs didn't really pick up the cooking bug like I had hoped. So today I am milling about gently and restoring order to my life.

My rant would be about my neighbors who are generally friendly but incredibly noisy. The problem I have is they seem to be completely unaware about their noise level. Now I freely admit that I am a bit thin skinned on this issue because they have been erecting a brick patio structure with a sandstone facing for the past 8 months and I have had to endure weeks of stone cutting, construction and cement mixing. The stone cutting got to be a bit of an issue because his guys dry cut the stones and the wind was blowing towards out house so the house became engulfed in a thick cloud of sandstone silica-- imagine a house on fire and the smoke the wafts from it-- now make it a lighter duller shade of brown and you have what a few weeks were like here. I talked to him about it- he said his guys were suppose to be wet cutting it but apparently when he leaves the premises they revert back to their old ways.

They have taken a break from the stone cutting lately- last week they jack hammered out the cement he poured earlier in the year- changed his mind and wants to put some plants in his vast cement empire of a front yard. Still, I am trying to be a good sport about this all- I mean I have to live next to him and he is eventually going to finish the project right?

Yeah, he has now installed the kitchen area of his patio, the fish pond and water fall and now a TV. Yup. You heard me correctly the man has placed a TV in his front yard patio area. Now here's the good part- last night they were watching it until 11:30 pm. They have proably been there til the wee hours of the morning had I not decided to wander on over in my frighteningly fashionable pink hawaiin print pjs. I mean what option did they leave me? I could hear it clear as a bell from my livingroom- so you can imagine how clear it was in my bedroom which is one room closer to his place. It wasn't actually him- it was his son and friends watching MTV or something with a heavy beat that gathers speed and races past the ear plugs I purchased for just this reason. So I called, no answer. I called again, no answer. I had no option but to stroll on over and suggest the volume be reduced to something I don't hear in my house with all the doors and windows shut tightly and the fan blowing.

I got no apology for distrubing my sleep, I got no "we'll establish a curfew" - I got a oh, are the boys still watching TV. Hey, glad that it doesn't disturb your peace since your bedroom is located in the back of your house and up a flight a stairs...So I go home rather pissed and what do you know... I wake up the same way. Is it possible they are so clueless they don't realize that a TV outside in your front yard is like a boom box in your front yard and it is considered noise pollution? No one else has a TV in their front yard. In fact only a few folks on our block have cable- the rest of us prefer to live with rental videos and itunes downloads. We don't want to hear the commericals and have the TV keep us company- we are fine being on our own.

So is this hormones or me- and is there some new fad I am unaware of to put TVs in your front yard- or even your back yard for that matter and torment your neighbors with your viewing choices?

Bed Rest Day 2

The transfer went really well. They gave us pictures of the embies-- one was 6 cells and the other was 8. I think they said more about them but we were not really paying attention -- just thrilled to have 2 to transfer and it's darn hard to focus when they are telling you this and you have to pee. Let's get on with it already! They also gave us a picture of the embies inside me. I don't know if I will post them or not -- the scanner isn't really easy to use and honestly don't they all kind of look the same?

The full bladder thing- definately not comfortable- and I tried the catheter after- dang that hurts! I don't think I want to experience that part again. The rest of it went well and I was home shortly after and have been in bed since. I thought bed rest would be easy- I mean who doesn't want to spend all day in bed hanging out?

Not so much fun alone when you can't get out of bed. My neighbors were awesome about stopping in and making sure I had food and everything. Hubs good with dinners- not so great about mornings. Hard to give a morning task to a non-morning person. Since I normally make his coffee and he likes to sleep in-- it's been a struggle having shift times.

Today I have been cleared to lay on the sofa if I want --it will be a mellow day of movies and laying around.