Back to Plan B again. This is proably the most disheartening part of all the back and forth we have been through for the past week. The point where we finally reach a decision and take the trigger meds. We got 7 follies in total- but having spent the past few days trying to make them grow-- they just aren't. The two largest ones are continuing to grow and the remaining 5 are not getting to where we need them to be. No amount of chanting, candle burning, whale music or affirmations is going to make them move any faster. The good news is we got 7 follies so I know my body can make them-- this is way better than the 2 we came up with last go around. Bad news is that we are back on Plan B and doing IUI again.

DH isn't taking this so well- I think the >5% chance of this working is not encouraging and the fact that we keep trying this method and are getting no where with it. He feels it is kind of pointless. I can see his frustration and I know I shouldn't feel it- but I do- I feel like I am the reason we are not getting pregnant. He keeps saying it is not my fault- but how can I not feel a wee bit responsible for this. Would another woman be able to create life with him had he opted to be with someone else instead of me? I know, I am not suppose to think like this- but honestly, how can this not seep into my thoughts? How can I not be accutely aware that other women don't struggle like I do to have children.

It's not a done deal yet, I know this, and I know we have the rest of this cycle to see what happens with the procedures we will do over the next 2 days. It was a rough cycle overall with the higher dose of meds, the back and forth about which procedure would be the best for us and DH being gone for most of it. I can only hope that it all works, because honestly, I am just not sure I have another one of these in me.