Well I can't say for certain what possessed me to troll over to cyclesista and check out all the dec/jan and jan/feb cyclers and evaluate the outcomes of everyone. I can't really say that I learned anything from counting, some of us got pregnant, and some didn't. So I thought I might just catch up on some reading and offer some support. I am reading you all, but so far writing comments feels uninspirational, like I just have no idea what to say.

We did the D&C late last week, they moved me up a day in scheduling and then apparently didn't mention it to the nursing staff-- the door to the recovery room was ajar but we did overhear some of the staff commenting that I wasn't on the schedule. Hmm, not the most welcomed feeling but I know that I am little on the sensitive side with all the hormones dropping out of my system like a roller coaster plummeting down the hill. Hubs said the doctor came in and spoke with us after, I can't remember a dang thing so I can't really tell you what he said. I got dressed sometime around 9:30 and we headed home, I slept most of the way and then most of the day too. We burned all the ultrasound pictures and said our goodbyes in hopes that a sense of closure would start the healing process.

It's been two days since and I guess the healing is starting. I still cry, a bit less today than yesterday, I think that's proably going to be around a bit longer- and my motivation to step outside, well, I thought about it today but just wasn't up to venturing out on my own. Hubs took me to the grocery store and I found all the people and noise overwhelming. I did fine in the store, but I wasn't really up for running more errands after that.

I think we are doing ok, and we'll be fine-- but every time I hear the words "I'm sorry", there is a slight sting and I feel tears well up in my eyes. I know the loved ones saying it are trying to be supportive- and I'd say the same thing if I were in their place. I don't know what the right response would be, it seems appropriate, maybe it is just suppose to hurt and then it one day hurts less.