Hey Fellow Bloggers..
My humor must be returning to me as I catch up on my reading and hear what is happening in everyone's life. As I was reading up on a fellow bloggers mini vacation and her undying patience in dealing with a fertile woman who kept offering her suggestion on how to get pregnant, a question arose for me - and I thought- why not take a poll on this and then we'll have them all in one place. So here goes-- spread the request around so I can capture as much of them as possible. And here is the question:
What are the suggestions you have been given to help get you pregnant by people who don't get infertility?
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We began our Trying to Concieve Journey in 2005- only to discover that this isn't really the kind of thing folks chat about at the dinner table. It isn't the bbts and the days of ovulation that threw everyone off kilter... it was the block fallopian tubes, the IVF process and how many people does it take to make a baby? I lost count of all the people in the room...
About Me
- ellie
- Sharing my IVF process with family and friends while blogging my way back to sanity...
Those Cycling Who I Support
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32 comments:
I was told by one of britain's top fertility specialists to have lots of sex, and to make sure I had an orgasm after my husband did, to suck in the sperm. Which might have been helpful if I hadn't (i) had endometriosis clogging everything up, and (ii) hadn't known that already!
My sister in law suggested aromatherapy, and my mother suggested accupuncture.
A friend of mine suggested I eat more fish.
That's good advice for anyone, but not specifically for infertility.
I was also told I had to keep believing that it would work one day.
Having hope helps in the process, but I don't think it's really a prerequisite. Otherwise, all those oops-baby mothers were secretly hoping to get PG? I don't think so.
Thanks for your comment on my blog. Think you are right that the hormones will be messing with me, so considering that, I am probably doing ok.
Just caught up with yours, hope your strength is coming back (sounds like it) and as for a sense of humour, I'm glad that's back because we all definitely need that!
Happy Easter
Eat zinc: both of us.
We didn't.
Both my parents and my in-laws told us we needed to relax in the beginning. Over two years, two IVFs, and two FETs later, they've finally stopped that, although my mom still talks to her OB about me. "He says women with PCOS get pregnant all the time. It should be easy for you!" Thank you OB for the advice, but it just ISN'T.
My MIL was the worst of the lot. When we told her we were thinking about adoption, she said, "Oh that's great, because lots of couples get pregnant naturally after adopting". I said, "Very true, except I can tell you the father will not be your son" (he has CBAVD, which is like a vasectomy, but she was in denial). And when our first IVF failed, she said "I don't want to give you too much details, but for me and my husband too it took us several tries". I thought that was just great to compare sex with her husband with me undergoing IVF. A last one: we finally got pregnant, but with quads and had to reduce 3 of them (they were identical triplets, very dangerous pregnancy). Right before the reduction, she told me several time to "let nature do its own thing". Yeah, right if I had trusted nature I would not be pregnant, or worse, I would be stuck with quads. I am not talking to her anymore, she drives me too crazy
I just wrote about the weirdest tip I got. To drink the water out of the glass of the pregnant woman sitting next to me.
Said pregnant woman also offered the following helpful advice: "Have you guys been to any doctors?"
I don't have anything too original. I was told to relax and go on vacation.
My favorites were put pillows under your butt after intercourse. But I also have -Don't pee for at least an hour afterwards -Hang out with a pregnant person or baby -Relax and stop "TRYING" to get pregnant -Prop my feet up on the head board after sex -Count 14 days after my period and then "GO AFTER IT!" -Eat turnip greens
I can't remember the rest but they are all so funny and just goes to show you that People Just Don't Understand!!!
A
Someone told me to take a break from IVF cycles because I was sure to "get pregnant naturally" if I wasn't actually trying.
Apparently she thought we were 'trying too hard.'
Thanks for your comment on my blog. I've been racking my brain, and I've realized that I've been extremely fortunate in that nobody has really offered me assvice. Most of the people who know are really, really good at just listening and sympathizing. Conversation with my friend A are always kind of awkward, but the worst she has said is, "It will happen for you guys." Truthfully, I'd probably say the same thing if I were in her place.
Just relax,it'll happen.
Original, huh?
Hmmm.
Rub pregnant womens bellies.
"Envision being pregnant"
Relax.. this is "insert higher
power name here" way of teaching you the patience you will need to have a child.
Just because I did have one successful pregnancy, I hear "I have been blessed and should just be happy I was even "given" one."
GAH
It all sucks. All of it.
Oh the usual, "Maybe you're trying too hard, just start the adoption process and it will happen, yes I've heard of so many people that has happened to." - from my Mother no less though she is a little crraaazy!
Now that we ARE adopting, I keep hearing how THIS will make us pregnant at last.
Very annoying!
"Have sex with my husband. He's got super sperm."
Ellie, I was so sorry to read about your miscarriage and sorry that stupid blogger wouldn't let me comment.
Glad to hear that you've got some of your sense of humor back.
I got this email from a friend (who got pregnant when they "weren't even really trying") and it was this big elaborate detailed instructions on what to do to get pregant. I wish I had kept the email now so I could tell you exactly what it said but the instructions included a specific number of days to stay abstinent, then hubby had to "fly solo" on one specific day, then a certain number of days later we had to have sex, in a certain position, and I had to stand on my head afterwards and pretend I was pedalling a bike and then immediately after sex I had to have a hot bath... And on it went... She saw it on some show on TLC.
But it worked for her cousin's best friend's sister's friend... You know how it goes
(Sorry that deleted post was me writing under the wrond screenname)
It's so good to hear that you are feeling good today.
As per the name of my blog: my friend's husband told me not to be disappointed if I didn't get pregnant the first month of trying, because it could take three months.
It's just so: wow, did you actually just say that? (We had already been trying for about 7 months at that point, and we knew what our problems were.)
I don't have anything original to offer - just the usual: relax, adopt, etc. But the comment about standing on your head and pretend you are pedaling a bike has me totally cracking up. that's one of the best I've ever heard!
I did have a very well meaning friend offer to send us to a romantic spa for the weekend - thinking that getting us both relaxed and in the mood might help things along. I finally had to confess to the poor guy that we were "way beyond having sex to try to get pregnant". He quickly got the point and didn't offer any romance help again.
all the usual: relax, don't try so hard, think positive, adopt, take a vacation, take a few months off, prop your hips up afterwards, the bicycle pedalling thing (from my husbands boss-great!), eat ice cream (after that report a few months ago), repeat daily mantras of "i WILL be pregnant" (uh-huh yeah f@ck you), "don't do IVF because i just know it's going to happen naturally for you now" (really? how do you know?), and eat more vegetables and less meat (probably a good idea but irrelevant).
Ellie, thank you for the very kind words. They were much appreciated salve for the soul.
A neighbor of mine swears that after months of TTC, standing on her head after sex that last month was what did it for her!
The most I get - and I should count myself lucky- is "these things take time" and "I know it'll happen."
Of course the first was said by a woman who got pregnant in the first two months of trying. The second: my mother who easily conceived four kids - thanks a lot for understanding how hard this is!!
I've heard stop trying "it'll happen" a million times and of course "relax". Might work if I OVULATED! I love you blogs :)
Our friend told us that we would get pregnant when we weren't expecting it. "After all" he said "That's what happened to me and my wife" Yeah, except he forgot to mention that he and his wife got married because she got pregnant after a few months of dating. Thanks for the advice buddy, but we're not exactly in the same boat (or body of water for that matter!)
A friend of mine told me that I just needed to spend more time around kids to bring out my maternal side. (I work in a school.)
Definitely the "just relax" thing. If relaxing would make me ovulate, I'd be living on a tropical island, believe me.
I struggle with secondary infertility & my super-duper fertile best friend from childhood told me (after announcing her 3rd pregnancy..."we were just beginning to think about another one & we didn't use protection once &, well, we're pregnant!") said I should just wait for the Lord to give us another one....don't use clomid...He'll bless you in His time. I am a Christian & do believe that God has a plan for my life, but "just waiting" isn't always the plan!! Needless to say, I haven't talked to her much lately. I just don't have the energy for it. I still love her & know she meant well...but, sheesh!!
Have you tried having more sex? That's my favorite.
I'm so sorry about your miscarriage. Thanks so much for your comment on my blog.
thank you for visiting my blog. my thoughts are with you as i know where you are coming from.
take care -
I was told that dh should eat skink. You know what that is? Neither did i, but it's a type of lizard. Supposedly, it increases sperm count. The woman who gave the advice suffered herself from male factor infertility and then had two kids.
It didnt work for us (yeah, we tried it, SUCKERS!)
sorry about your loss ;(
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