Again. I don't really know what to say other than I am going to try this again. I have no idea if it is normal to cry at the thought of that. It's not that I am not looking forward to it. It's just the the last one ended so incredibly badly -- and I doubt I could make it through another cycle emotionally if my husband weren't with me holding my hand every single step of the way. Funny how he thinks I am the strong one- I don't really feel that way at all.

So I start my new med regime sometime around the 19th of this month- it will be lu*pron and dexameth*sone for the first week or so-- then we add in Centro*tide, some E2V and then up the ante a week later with regular stims and heparin. Baby aspirin to boot as well. Whole new protocol for me. And that also adds to the fear I guess.
I was kind of use to all the old drugs and what my reactions were-- in fact I rarely had any side effects at all.

The good news is that we did the Millenova labs tests and found that I tested positive for APS. It was the best 800 bucks I think I have ever spent. The common name for it is Hughes Syndrome- but the elevator pitch is that my blood apparently clots and causes miscarriages. Thus the heparin and baby aspirin now becoming part of the new portfolio to thin the blood out. I think Hubs is a tiny bit worried that he will be following me around with band-aids. I share his concern knowing that I am a bit of a klutz. I mean I did break the same little toe something like 3 times last year tripping over things. I am hoping this summer doesn't start out like that!

So finally a new post after a quiet month. I'll be here posting, and reminding myself to breathe. We have taken every precaution we could to make sure this round
does not end with a miscarriage. I can't do much more than turn it over to the world and hope it ends well.