Thursday, May 01, 2008

Hi. Yes, I know I have been beyond quiet-- and mostly catching up all the stuff I missed out on from being so incredibly sick the first 17 weeks of this pregnancy. I'm so sorry I haven't been as good about updating- my energy level isn't great and so I am logging in to read about some of you- but so many have blocked or password protected blogs now-- is it really that awful out in blog land now? I hope not-- there should be someplace safe and supportive for us to go to where we can share experiences and not have negative feedback. Infertility is hard enough to deal with - and the emotional aspect of it all- and finding support for it- just should not have to be so dang hard.

I can eat again- nearly everything-- I seem to have an aversion to tomato based foods, mint, and tea. Pretty much anything else if fine. I've also just gained back the 25 lbs I'd lost the first trimester- and the baby is measuring in the 97th percentile-- the doctor says a big baby is a healthy baby so it's reassuring to know that though the size concerns me a bit-- as he, yes a boy, has to exit at some point and really large is not what I was hoping to hear.

Other than that I seem to be fine- cranky all the time, tired because I have yet to sleep in longer than 2 hour increments without having to get up for the bathroom or roll over which actually leaves me a bit breathless and hormonal(will that ever end?) . The infamous glowing that everyone talks about-- well... I think it's when I am breathless and my cheeks turn pink or it could be the 5 minutes I am in the sun where my cheeks burn- seriously I can't even walk out the door without getting a sun burn lately.

I can only say- this is a strange experience and hubby asked me if it was something I'd do over again if I knew how awful I'd feel this entire time. I looked at him and said -- I have no idea, we aren't at the end of the journey yet so I can't really say. But if I love the baby a fraction as much as I love our dog and I think he's half as cute-- then yeah- worth the whole miserable experience to get there. And looking at it from the larger scope-- a year or so of not feeling so great compared to decades of perfect health- not such a big deal. I guess it is all perspective, though the not throwing up part certainly helps the perspective seem much brighter than 2 months ago where I never thought I'd eat again. :)

So that's it-- not a lot happening but I did put the baby's pic in the corner there and I am hoping that doesn't offend anyone. Hugs to everyone and I am still reading where I can -- just still in quiet mode and taking the days as they come.