Tuesday, May 08, 2007



Again. I don't really know what to say other than I am going to try this again. I have no idea if it is normal to cry at the thought of that. It's not that I am not looking forward to it. It's just the the last one ended so incredibly badly -- and I doubt I could make it through another cycle emotionally if my husband weren't with me holding my hand every single step of the way. Funny how he thinks I am the strong one- I don't really feel that way at all.

So I start my new med regime sometime around the 19th of this month- it will be lu*pron and dexameth*sone for the first week or so-- then we add in Centro*tide, some E2V and then up the ante a week later with regular stims and heparin. Baby aspirin to boot as well. Whole new protocol for me. And that also adds to the fear I guess.
I was kind of use to all the old drugs and what my reactions were-- in fact I rarely had any side effects at all.

The good news is that we did the Millenova labs tests and found that I tested positive for APS. It was the best 800 bucks I think I have ever spent. The common name for it is Hughes Syndrome- but the elevator pitch is that my blood apparently clots and causes miscarriages. Thus the heparin and baby aspirin now becoming part of the new portfolio to thin the blood out. I think Hubs is a tiny bit worried that he will be following me around with band-aids. I share his concern knowing that I am a bit of a klutz. I mean I did break the same little toe something like 3 times last year tripping over things. I am hoping this summer doesn't start out like that!

So finally a new post after a quiet month. I'll be here posting, and reminding myself to breathe. We have taken every precaution we could to make sure this round
does not end with a miscarriage. I can't do much more than turn it over to the world and hope it ends well.

17 comments:

Beagle said...

We'll be here hoping with you . . . may this chapter have a happy ending!

Samantha said...

Good luck with the new protocol, I hope this will work for you. I've never been on heparin, but I've done baby aspirin, and the worst thing is doing the blood draws because you bruise more easily. So make sure to apply plenty of pressure after getting your blood drawn!

Susan said...

Okay world, make this end well, please!

Mary Ellen and Steve said...

I am hoping very hard that this next round is the one Ellie. xx

Amy said...

Hi Ellie, I started reading your blog a few months back & got hooked to lurking your blog every few days :) I finally started my own journal and decided to "come out of the closet"! Wanted to wish you much luck and am glad you have not given up. I hope its the last time you have to go through this crap!

Bea said...

I'm glad you turned up the problem. It'd be better if you didn't have a problem, of course, but as long as there is one it's a relief to know you've found it and are treating it.

Best of luck for the next round.

Bea

Sarah said...

hoping for you too. it's great that you have something to work with now.

ms. c said...

Hoping for you too, Ellie.
I'm glad to see that your tests showed something that you are able to cover with your new protocol.

Becks said...

Wishing you lots and lots of luck.

Nicole said...

I know someone who was on heparin during their pregnancy and she got one of those take home babies. I have great hopes for you that you will achieve the same result.

Hopeful Mother said...

Ellie, I'm excited for you and will be praying for the best possible outcome. My thrombophilia panels came back abnormal, and I was put on baby aspirin, high dosage folic acid and heparin/lovenox, and now, well, it clearly made some kind of difference. I hope it does the same for you! Will be cheering you on here!

Lut C. said...

I can imagine you're dreading to go through all that again. Hopefully the results will be radically different in a good way.

Drowned Girl said...

I have the same! Heparin etc isn't so bad. Good luck!

x

Carol said...

Glad to see you back, and that you have a plan for moving forward. I know it's been a rough time for you - putting yourself back together after having such hopes dashed is just heartbreaking.

Great news about diagnosing the clotting issue. I will be rooting for you!

gracechild said...

hey there & best wishes and crossed fingers for this new phase. I have never been a weepy or emotional person, but this IF journey has caused me a few gallons of tears this year and you know what... its perfectly normal and helps bleed off those intense feelings it seems no one else really understands. all the best.

ava said...

Hey there, just wanted to say that I'm rooting for you and hoping this is it!

Nearlydawn said...

Hey, it is perfectly ok to want to cry when starting out on this journey again.

Glad to hear that you got tested for miscarriage-causing issues. You go girl!

we'll be in this together. I start my Lupron on the 24th. I'll add you to my watch list.