This is the first time I have blogged since our second miscarriage. I needed to take the time to grieve- for us the loss was huge. I still struggle some days with the loss, but it is lessening and we are on hold with our plans. We'd still love to have a child but the journey wore me out, wore us both out, we were left emotionally spent and physically exhausted.

I also lost some friends along the way-- no, they still care for me deeply but from afar. I think the multiple miscarriages was too much for some of my women friends who were unable for whatever reasons to cope with my loss, perhaps because it resonates or the fear of the possibility in their own lives was too great. But they are dearly missed and I hope that one day they will reappear in my life again when the time works for them.

I can't really say I am leading an exciting life- but I am healing. I have just begun recovering from the depression that sets in while the hormones are leaving my body. 2.5 years of infertility drugs takes a while to work them all out... but I am feeling better than I have in over a year and I have begun to smile and laugh again.

I probably won't post a great deal for now... but know that I am lurking and reading your blogs when time allows and you are all very much in my heart and thoughts.

If you have some free time- please pop on over to Pixxee and give her some hugs.