Thursday, August 10, 2006

Hope crept through the window last night. I don't know if it came with the exhaustion I felt or if it slipped in while I was dreaming but I woke up this morning feeling hopeful. I am on day 2 of the patch-- I rather feel a bit as though I am on a boat again-- but this is nothing like last cycle so I won't whine about it. I was darn tired last night and put my pj's on at 6pm. I have a wrinkle now in my patch, at first I was alittle alarmed- and puzzled- I mean why the heck did the darn thing move? But now I look at it and I think "eh?". I won't be bothering to fix this, I mean, what am I concerned about getting pregnant?

I talked to the RE-- looks like we will start microdosing lupron on the 22nd and will do the major meds at a higher dose the 29th to the 6th. Now we can talk breifly about FEAR. I am not afraid of the drugs themselves- heck, this is old hat for us- we have been here before- but DH is going to be travelling from the 30th to the 6th- that leaves me alone doing the meds for a week. And it isn't just doing the meds alone that bothers me-- it is being alone that bothers me. Now normally I would relish the time alone- I mean the man steps out the door and I have some home improvement project in full go mode. I have been known to paint the house, remodel the office and yes, I even replaced his desk one weekend when he left town. But the
remodeling on IVF drugs thing just isn't going to work this round and I have a small fear about it. I mean the drugs do add a bit of drama to my personality and I worry that left to myself I will worry myself into a panic.

In any case, looks like the man will return the day we trigger and then we will be off to surgery the next day- and then back again on the 9th. This naturally cancels everything we have had planned for the early part of september- but I'd rather know now and plan for it than not.


the waiting line said...

sorry your hubby will be travelling. you will do just fine.

Hopeful Mother said...

I think it's funny that your patch is wrinkled, and great that you aren't all worried about it. I think that is a great sign for this cycle.

I'm sorry that your hubbie will be gone during this time - but we are here for you to keep you from going crazy or becoming the ultimate of drama queens - we have all been there!

I'm so glad you are moving forward - are you on a different protocol this go round?

Angela E. said...

I'm sorry your DH won't be there. I know what you mean about the worst part being that you're alone during that time. I'll be in Chicago for 3.5 weeks. My DH will only be out for 3-5 days. I can figure out how to stab myself in the butt. I just wish he was going to be there with me. Sigh.
Feel free to blog in. We'll be listening.

Pixxiee said...

You sound like me - hubby used to travel a lot and I always had big plans, gardens, painting, all ready. But it's natural to feel a little alone and vulnerable when you have the shots to do. we are here for you. If you want my email address then let me know. It all sounds like a really good plan for going forward...maybe you can use the time to get your pup liking the camera again :-)

StellaNova said...

I hope that this cycle goes well for you, although I understand your apprehension about being on your own during this period.

Hang in there. :)

Debbi said...

Good luck this cycle. I understand the anxiety about DH being gone for some of it, but hey, as long as he's there for the important part!

Kris said...

I'm sorry hubby will be gone when it's an inopportune time for you to remodel or redecorate.... that's my favorite thing to do when H is gone, too!

You'll do just fine on the meds by yourself. And you can have ice cream for dinner every night, if you want! (Another thing I look forward to when H is gone)

Beagle said...

Good Luck Ellie!

Alli said...

Glad you are feeling hopeful. That stinks that your DH will be gone - I know it's hard to go through it w/o "in house" support.

Keeping my fingers crossed for you!