Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Well nothing is confirmed. We are still in waiting mode but some thing have drastically changed and I don't think it is all for the better. The net of it is all my lovely symptoms are gone. I'd never thought I'd say I wish I were feeling queasy...
I stopped feeling queasy by Saturday, and my energy level began increase so naps are no longer necessary to make it through a day. My skin pigmentation on my breasts has returned to a pale color and most noticably the metal taste in my mouth is gone. Oh, and I am not really hungry. Yeah, I think that is a big one as I have just spent the last several weeks eating everything within view to abate the hunger. Now I don't mean to be pessimistic but add in some cramping, a general initutive sinking feeling and well, you have a grieving family.

I popped an email over to my care coordinator to see what the options are here-- but overall, I have to be realistic, this week isn't looking like a good one. I know symptoms change-- but they don't just all go away never to be seen again.

We'll breathe, and cry, and breathe and cry some more. Not much else we can do but grieve, and wait.

15 comments:

Bea said...

Oh, I hope not. But I can see what you mean - disappearing symptoms are a worry. Fingers still crossed? Hopefully they can check everything and tell you one way or another soon.

Bea

Adrienne said...

Ellie, I don't know what to say. I hope your sinking feeling is wrong, I really do. Can you schedule an u/s in the next day or so?

serenity said...

Oh Ellie. What you must be feeling right now. I am SO sorry you have to go through this.

I am holding my breath and hoping with all my heart that you won't have to cross that bridge.

Hang in there hon.

Hopeful Mother said...

Oh, Ellie, I hope you are wrong. Really, really, really hoping here.

I'm sorry you are having this feeling. Is there a local OB/GYN who can give you a "security scan?"

Hang in there - we are thinking of you and holding out all hope.

Suzanne said...

Ellie, I really hope that all is still well, but I can only imagine how difficult the wait is for you and hubs.

Samantha said...

I hope your lack of symptoms doesn't mean what you fear. I wish the waiting could be easier. We'll be thinking of you.

The Town Criers said...

Did the coordinator write back and fit you in for an earlier scan? Please tell me that they're not going to make you wait out this whole week. Ellie, I'm so sorry. I'm still crossing my fingers for you.

The Town Criers said...

"Maybe I should sit near towncrier and see if some of the "let it go" rubs off on me. I rather like the idea of crying in advance of bad news-- kind of takes the edge off."

You do whatever you need to do to get through these days. Crying in advance. Waiting numbly. Screaming at everyone in sight. Anything you need to do.

Again, I'm so sorry, Ellie. Just know I'm thinking about you and sending good thoughts your way.

Sarah said...

i'm really hoping your intuition is just letting your fears get the best of you. i'm so sorry, i hope you're able to find out soon.

Susan said...

Oh, god, this just sucks. You must be feeling awful. I hope that you are wrong about this and that you are able to get to do an u/s soon. I'll be thinking of you.

Allie said...

I've been reading here from the corner I've been hiding in for a few weeks now but today I thought I'd post after this one.

I'll pray for you... but know this... I hit 9 weeks and 5 days today and 3 weeks ago I had a period of 2 weeks with no symptoms. I planned to mourn. It didn't pan out. Turns out we had a heartbeating little spud in there that hasn't made me sick since. And I had cramping too. I FREAKED out. So I hope you have what I had... and not the alternative.

carrie said...

Oh, Ellie, I am holding my breath for you. I am really really hoping that you're just feeling better, that's all, and that it doesn't mean anything at all. And I really hope you can get in to see someone really really soon, so that you can have more information about what is or isn't going on. Hang in there.

Jo said...

I hope it is all ok for you. I do know for a fact that symptoms come and go.
I am keeping everything crossed and praying so hard that its is all going to be ok for you.

Please take care of yourself.

Lut C. said...

I'm holding my breath here, and hoping that against the bad signs things are looking up anyway.

Rachelle said...

I had a miscarriage 2 years ago. And it was devistating. I feel for you. It took me a while to get over it. Of course there were still days where I would wonder how my life would be had I carried full term. I am pregnant again and in my second trimester ( due Oct 22) and when I first found out I was pregnant, I feared the worse. I just wanted to say that I am very sorry for your loss. Keep on keeping and eventually you will carry full term. Miscarriage is actually very common... so don't stress too much