Tuesday, July 24, 2007

We go in on saturday for our ultrasound. I'm scared. Beyond scared actually, I don't want to go at all. It's suppose to be the first time we'll see our baby's heartbeat but all I can remember is the last time we did this and how the heartbeat was low- and then a few days later it was gone. It was so sad-- and I just don't think I am up for doing that again emotionally. I'm afraid it is all going to happen again.

I'd feel better if I had some other symptoms besides being tired. So far- that is about all I feel. Anyhow, just writing down my thoughts in an effort to purge them from my head. Sometimes putting all your fears down takes the power away from them.

17 comments:

Mary Ellen and Steve said...

That is awesome awesome news Ellie! Congratulations!

Mary Ellen and Steve said...

Oh crap Ellie, I thought I was commenting on your other post (from before). Sorry. This one didn't show up on my Google Reader until now. I am so sorry that you are feeling anxious. I so hope that everything is okay. Thinking of you my dear.

hopeful to hateful in 28 days said...

Congrats! I understand your worries. I had a similar u/s experience a year ago and am now preg. again. Every u/s makes me a nervous wreck.

I'll be thinking of you.

Rona said...

Pregnancy does not always give you symptoms in the beginning. In the dark ages when I got pregnant and all we had was a urine test that was done at the doctor's office and that they couldn't do until at least 6 weeks, I never knew if I was pregnant until the test came back. I wish you a healthy, uncomplicated pregnancy and a beautiful little baby.

Sarah said...

good luck at the scan. i think anyone would be terrified of a repeat performance. at this point there's no reason to think it would happen again, but i know the only thing that will reassure you is good news on saturday. and i didn't have any symptoms either for several more weeks. maddening.

Lut C. said...

Symptoms are optional, really. Tiredness was all I felt at first.

It's only natural that you'd be frightened. The odds are in your favour though.

serenity said...

I can understand the anxiety, absolutely. I like what Lut's said though - the odds are in your favor.

Will be thinking about you this weekend, though.

Nicole said...

Deep breaths my friend and try to remember that the "last time" cannot influence the results. It can only take away from your new experience if you let it. Of course, I never would listen to anything I have to say.

Samantha said...

Hang in there, I hope the results will be good!

Bea said...

I can only cross my fingers and hope you make it through with great results, but I'll be doing that with all my might.

Bea

Heather said...

When I was pregnant with my DD, I was only tired. It was the only symptom I had in my first trimeser.

Good luck on the ultrasound!

Amy R said...

Thinking of you Ellie and I hope your fears are allayed during your u/s :)

Stephanie said...

I am holding on to hope and excitment for you. I am sure you are nervous, but remember to just breath. Can't wait to hear about the heart beat and how strong it is!!

Beagle said...

Here's hoping this time around has a happy outcome . . . I would be scared too, it's only natural. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you!

olivegirl said...

Best of luck with your ultrasound. I felt exactly the same way. I was so nervous that things were going to go badly. I have a follow up ultrasound tomorrow. Of course I'm freaking about that one too.

Nearlydawn said...

I had the SAME reaction - I really, really didn't want to go.
Hang in there, it is just a little longer.

Will be thinking about you this weekend! Hope all goes well!

Hopeful Mother said...

I can completely understand your anxiety, but will be hoping and crossing fingers etc. that the worry is all for naught, and you see a perfectly developing sac & heartbeat tomorrow!