The morning update: Of the 3 mature eggs- 2 fertilized normally. Hubs was thrilled that his guys could actually find the eggs! The visual of the little sperm wandering around the fallopian tubes for the past few years yelling "hello, is anyone home?" makes me laugh. I don't generally think of it as a giant area- but then again I am not as small a sperm so I can see how I might look as large as a country whereas a petrie dish looks about the size of a house. We'll put them back in on Thursday afternoon. I don't think 2 out of 3 is a bad ratio at all. In fact I am just plain relieved to have at least gotten this far and a wee bit sad to think we could have been here a year ago if we'd gone with a different in the first place RE at the begining of this journey.

I'll post later- for now, I am still pretty tired but overall really happy and optimistic. I asked hubs how the mojo room was this round-- as it is a different office and one he'd never been to. If you recall we have now essentially used the examination room done up with lovely pink accents and rap music playing loudly( with no apparent way to turn it off ) and what has looked like a machine room closet with an office chair and tiny TV. The new RE's office a dedicated room labeled the Male Room, which is kind of cute- and he says it has a TV with a VCR and some magazines. He didn't elaborate on it other than to say he did not sit down anywhere or touch anything- he just couldn't bring himself to. He also said that he didn't get back into the recovery room until after me because the room was occupied still by the family that went before us into surgery. When he got in there he just wanted to get out knowing that the other guy had been in there for some extended period of time and it just didn't sit well. I can't say I blame him- we get to go under for the surgery, but the men- they have it hard having to perform under such circumstances and in a room where others have gone before. I say he is far braver than me for this.

So retrieval is complete and we got 3 fat little eggs. I was alittle nervous about going under-- and I have to say, overall a totally great experience. The staff was awesome and apparently I kept waking up- asking hubs how the mojo room was and then falling asleep - then waking up and asking the same questions. He says I did that 4 times. :)

Anyhow, I am exhausted and so I will write more later- if all goes well we put them back on thursday.

Today's appt at the RE was much different than my previous visits-- I guess since there are so many people cycling that they just pack them all into the office near about the same time. So there was standing room only in the office shortly after I arrived- and many of the women brought extra people with them-- some brought 3+ people, children, etc... I figured that it was natural to bring support and I'd bring hubs with me if he could get the time off work- but as he cant't I am doing it on my own. I'm still alittle torn about the bringing the kids into the office- It's not that I mind the kids, it's just that there had to have been 8-10 women in the room all trying to have kids-- and then the one support person brings her kids (yes that is plural) there-- and it seems alittle insensitive.

The u/s today showed 3 follies on the left (largest is 14 smallest is 9)- it seems to be the strong side this cycle and the right has 3 follies as well ( but the largest is 6 and the smallest is 4) and if they don't speed up and catch the left in the next few days they will be staying behind. I stay on meds for the next 3 nights and then u/s again on friday. Our retrieval date has been pushed to sunday- and on friday they will decide whether to bump it or keep it at sunday. All good.

I got back tonite just wiped out-- traffic, driving 5-6 hours total- and eating a light lunch did me in. I took a brief nap but the interrupt level at home was high with dogs, phone calls... I am still alittle bleary and I proably should have waited for Hubs to do the shots tonite. I can now confirm I have hit veteran status as I can give myself most of my shots now. I just woke up one morning and did it-- and have been doing it since. No, it doesn't phase me in the least- and I have gone from covering my eyes and cringing when I get one to doing them alone. I can't explain it-- I am just powering through the process. Perhaps I have hit some new level of altered insensitivity as not much bothers me lately, except noise, dogs and phone calls...

Now tonite I think I did something to mess up my shots-- my first time in what 5 or 6 cycles- so don't think I make a habit of it- and my follistim pen wasn't screwed shut entirely and so when I injected -- the grey stopper didn't look like it moved-- kind of ironic really as I was wondering about the stopper moving last night and it didn't look like it moved then either. So to be sure, I tightened the pen, injected it again with a smaller dose-- and the stopper moved. Well, dang- I am fairly certain it didn't move the previous time -- maybe a partial move and I missed watching the stopper move? I didn't know whether to inject the full amount now or to assume that I have now over shot by some amount. I mean, what would you do? Yes, Exactly, I thought I would err on the cautious side and complete the dose assuming that since the stopper didn't look like it moved earlier- then it proably didn't. Have I now shot too much in? I don't really think so-- but I will have hubs hang out with me when next I do the shots to keep and eye on me and make sure my counting skills don't falter.

I'll let ya know how friday goes. I can't really say much will change, I mean we will go ahead with the retrieval now regardless knowing we have a few good eggs- and hope to make it to transfer. If nothing else I am further along than I have been in the last year- so at least I am moving forward.

Fridays meeting with the RE went well. 3 nights on stims and nearly 3 follies. Not bad. Tuesday will tell us more- but so far the results are encouraging and as I'd be happy with anything 3 and over- so we are there already! Being a slow responder has it's downsides- I don't expect to get over 10 follies, I'd be estatic if we got to 5. I'll let you know what next Tuesday brings. So far it is all going well and I am feeling great.

I had a slight lupr*n headache but accupuncture took care of it-- and as I was leaving the office I mentioned that I was having a slightly stuffy nose- the nice accupuncturist placed these band-aid like things in certain areas- they have a small metal ball about the size of a pin head in them and they use them on children for accupunture. They told me to leave it on for a few days then take it off this weekend. I went home, went to bed and when I awoke the next day I could smell again! Dang, that stuff is amazing!

So things are progressing well- I am hanging out and just taking it easy. I have tried to comment on some of your blogs fellow IFers-- and I am not sure what is up with blogger this month. It doesn't let me look at profiles anymore- and so if I don't have a link to the site already I seem to be out of luck for reading it. Somedays it won't let me post... must be an upgrade feature they failed to mention when I shifted to the lastest version. Know that I am reading your blogs but seem to be unable to comment on all of them and my thoughts and hopes are with you all.

All lights are green in moving forward.

I saw the new RE yesterday. My E2 level is 48 and everything is quiet so things are all systems go. I have been doing 20 of the microdose lupron in the morning and night and aside from an unexpected headache it has been fine. I generally don't have side effects from all the meds but given that it was a long day of driving and I didn't drink as much water as I normally do- I suspect alittle dehydration was mixed in there and so I'll water up today. Last night we did 600 foll*stim. Yikes. We did it in 2 shots because the pen didn't go that high. We do it again tonite and then dose down later this week. I go back on friday to see how everything is growing and I am optimistic.

The new office is located in a hospital and the staff was warm and down to earth. It's a much longer drive for me but I'd rather drive a bit further and know I am being taken care of than risk another mistake. I am still kind of bummed that the old RE did nothing about that mistake and whittled away at our one time insurance assistance for IF treatments so it is completely gone. We will be doing this round entirely on our own and while the meds are taken care of due to the participation in a study-- the surgery will be the remaining cost for us.

IVF is my new car. I may put that on a tshirt. I think DH and I have decided that this will be our last attempt overall. It's not just the expense, though a huge factor, it's also putting our lives on hold while we try this, altering our schedules and travel plans, doing the meds and the physical aspect of this. And the emotional ups and downs that go with the meds and hormones. In short it's everything and it takes a toll on us every time we do it.

Well I got my hair cut today...and came back a Brunette. I wouldn't say that I am a complete dark deep brunette- but my hairdresser did call this a dark blonde. DH is still looking at me a bit strange, and I can understand how he might feel alittle baffled. I mean he married a blonde and then today I come home..well, not blonde. It can take alittle getting use to it-- and having never changed my hair color before-- this was alittle out of character for me. Will I change it back again? I have no idea- but for now- it is nice to have a change.

I take the patch off tonite- and yes, I am counting down the minutes until the thing comes off-- please, if there is any semblance of higher powers in our universe, could this please be the last time I have to do this? I am looking forward to the rest of this cycle--mostly because the worst part of it for me will be over in just a few hours when the evil patch comes off. I start lupr*n on tuesday and stims a day or so later.

I'd put off having my basic annual exam this past year because, well the traffic in that area made the interstate freeway look empty and I just honestly couldn't bear to have yet another person who I don't know all that well looking in an area that is named private for a reason. But with the change in health insurance, I figured I'd get it done right at the end of the year. It would seem that I have some mysterious endo cells with blood particles floating around in there-- now they would be natural if I were starting my period-- but at the time I was on the patch--so now this doctor wants an ultrasound TOO. I should sell tickets. Would you like popcorn with that?

I guess the good part of this is my humor is finally returning, and DH and I are getting this process down. He has been amazingly wonderful about helping with the cooking-- I developed a strange anti-meat thing earlier this week so he has been cooking any of that we have been eating- I have already stopped the wine, the coffee and the tofu in anticipation of the next few weeks. It ought to be a good few weeks but I'll keep you posted as I progress and things get rolling.

New Year. New Start. New Hope.


Second day of the year and I spent the first one relaxing and doing nothing. It was awesome, and around dinnertime, DH looked at me and said "pizza?" Yup, pepperoni and olive. Our standard fair and it made for a great evening of snuggling near each other on the sofa and just generally getting some time alone at home together.

I start my meds on the 16th and I am hoping this is our last try. We've spent all of last year trying to get to IVF#1. 4 rounds of injectible meds and we never got to IVF. A difficult year. Now we are onto a new year and I don't know if it was the change of the date, or the sun shining this morning as I woke- but we have a glimmer of hope with this new cycle.

I didn't make any huge new year resolutions- I'd like to just live this year in peace- and take the days as they come.