Thursday, February 08, 2007

And the answer is?

We still have no clue how the next few days will turn out- really not even an inkling of a guess but we are moving into self preservation mode just out of habit. 1st beta tomorrow and the 2nd beta on monday. The Dr will call after monday and let us know the results-- but I have to say we are considering the POAS (the pee-on-a-stick for those not familiar with acronym) method this weekend because we'd like to be prepared to talk to the doctor and I don't think we will be if we are shocked by the news, good or bad. They ought to be able to have someone call and tell you the results then hang up really really fast so they can't hear your reaction.

We talked about it last night and Hubs was pretty bummed that I have been cramping for the past day or so. I know, I know. It could totally be the little embie digging in-- and I know I am especially sensitive to just about everything out there except for fertility drugs-- so there is a chance that it's not period related. I mean we all know that symptoms mean NOTHING in this process. But to be cautionary we are asking family and friends to assume it is a Negative unless we tell them otherwise.

We aren't doing this because we are negative thinkers-- we are doing it because it is self preservation. I swear, my fingers and toes are crossed and we'd pretty much bargain off our grumpy dog and our ancient honda for a tiny bundle of joy. It doesn't seem like it but we are sane people and for all you non IFers out there I can explain. Imagine wanting to have any personal life goal, then not suceeding and having to tell 35 people you didn't make it, yeah sadly they don't all gather in one large room so you have to say it over and over and over... Now imagine having told them the exact same thing 5 times prior. Yeah, it is demoralizing. It would be that way whether it was a child or any other life goal you set for yourself you didn't achieve. I think I'd prefer to have my grumpy dog running me over in my old honda than to have that conversation 35 more times. So for the sake of not having to experience any of that- we opted for the above "It's Negative until we say otherwise" method. I mean I can't make the dog stop barking- I suspect I won't be much better at teaching her to drive :)

So yeah, cramping-- but---no blood. As far as I am concern--no massive amount of blood and 2 betas tests to go--means we are still way in the game.


Hopeful Mother said...

You are definitely still in the game! I hope you get a nice surprise if you decide to POAS before beta. I can FULLY understand wanting to know before the call.

Don't let the cramping get you down - I had cramping on Monday (3 days before beta) that felt like a stabbing pain in my uterus. They were short and painful, and different than period cramps. Then they just went away. I didn't have any bleeding or spotting either.

I also understand your reasoning for the "assume it's negative" talk to friends and family. It is bad enough to deal with a negative all by yourself, that you don't want to be repeating your agony over and over, just when you're trying desperately to recover.

Will be refreshing your blog over the next few days for updates... hoping and wishing for the best! Fingers crossed, Ellie!

p.s. I wanted to apologize for not acknowledging you, CycleSista, on my last post!

Kris said...

Good luck! Hope both of our betas are stellar this weekend!

Lut C. said...

I have had very few side-effects from the fertility drugs, I never in my life knew when my period was coming (surprise!) and I expect to have no clue going to the beta either.
I'm not a fan of POAS, and haven't with the IUIs, but I just might this time.

Wishing you the best!

serenity said...

I am not sure if it helps, but I have nothing in the way of out-of-the-ordinary symptoms either when I got my BFP our first IVF cycle.

I absolutely understand the need for self-preservation - telling people about my early m/c was horrible - and only 5 or 6 people knew at that point.

But it really sort of goes without saying that I am hoping that you get the very best news this weekend.


Stephanie said...

I hope you get positive news from you beta or POAS if you do that first. I agree with you about not calling everyone to tell them the cycle was a flop. I send out an email and if someone doesn't have email I tell them if you don't hear anything then it is a no. I also make hubby answer the phone all day.
Yesterday I was able to stop crying until someone (in real life) started telling me how sorry they are we got a negative. Come on people, how am I suppose to suck it up if they keep making me cry? Geeze!
Best of luck! Crossing my fingers for you.

Heather said...

Good luck today! I'll be checking in to see how it went!!

Carol said...

I'm totally with you on the self preservation.

but don't throw in the towel yet - I had quite a bit of cramping this time - and it was positive. I also had cramping on my negative cycles. so it's definitely one of those symptoms that's easy to read too much into either way.

Good luck!!

Kristi said...

I completely understand your feeling negative about things until you hear otherwise. I felt literally the exact same way. In fact, I cried all the way home after going for my beta bloodtest. I was certain it would be negative.

So I won't tell you to cheer up, or to think positive, because you've heard it a million times. Just know that there are people out there who know exactly what you're going through right now, and we're thinking of you this weekend.

Bea said...

Yep, still in there. Fingers are crossed. But I can understand you're not trying to get your hopes up too high.


ava said...

Oh wow, to have to wait until Monday to find out...what torture!

I'm really hoping this is it -- fingers & toes crossed for you.

BTW, I had cramping this time and it turned out to be positive. And we all know that "symptoms" can be just as prevalant on the negative cycles, but just wanted to remind you that cramping definitely doesn't mean it's negative!

Beagle said...

Hoping it's good news!