Thursday, September 07, 2006

I have stopped sending emails to cyclesista to update my schedule. Why should we all suffer through the daily shift of the cycle protocol? What I thought would be IVF became IUI to then become IVF and now... well we just don't know what it is. Today the ultrasound revealed that I still have 6 follies. Whew, at least that part hasn't changed. They are 23, 19, 15 on right-- and 10,10,10 on left. So we are looking at 3 viable ones right now. It never occurred to me that they all would not grow at the same rate. Do they know that we are currently living in what is called the Participation Age? Ahh, yeah, that means we are suppose to participate.

So where does that leave me? I. have. no. idea. And instead of worrying about this- I don't care- ok, I really do, but I am currently too tired of thinking about this to think any longer and I want a break- I want to do all the things I haven't been able to do for this cycle--I want a hot bath with bubbles and a glass of red wine with dinner. I miss doing situps and ab work in Pilates class and I know I am not a patient person. I'm not. I am really not. It makes being patient all the more difficult. Ok, now that I have finished my daily whine- I am going to go back to waiting. I have no idea what will happen next- stay on meds and do IVF later this week, trigger and do IUI, or stay in this holding pattern and decide at my next ultra sound...

Um, how long can I stay on the stims before I start to look like a giant follicle myself?
Well Bless the RE for really wanting this to work as badly as we do, how totally cool is that? I know that we are paying the man to get us all knocked up but he is totally dedicated to the cause and I do find it comforting. He is going to have us do the meds again tonite and then ultra sound and blood work again tomorrow. He will talk to us tomorrow and decide the course of action then-- he is hoping we will be further along and can do the surgery on sunday.


VanillaDreams said...

Ugh, this sucks Ellie!!

How awful to be going back and forth with IVF or IUI, and never knowing exactly what form of treatment you will end up with!!

The not knowing is really the worst part.

At least you still have six follicles, and looks like 3 for sure great ones.

I hope things get decided for you soon.

Take care,

Bea said...

Urgh. See my previous comment re: don't *do* that ovaries. Ignore the bit about the upswing - no longer relevant. How much uncertainty can one person take?


Meg said...

Ellie - I'm really glad to hear the RE is going to persevere and not rush you back into IUI. Hope the next few days develop well. Must be so frustrating for you.

chloe said...

I can't imagine the see-saw of emotions you must be going through! I know I would not be able to handle it well.

I think its awesome your RE is being so aggressive, I think it helps to know he is on the same page.

Follicle news is encouraging!

PS. Thanks for your support over at my place. Crisis averted, for the time being, I am leisurely at home post-morning retrieval. =)

Thalia said...

THis sounds incredibly stressful, and it also sounds like you are handling it incredibly well. Good for you for keeping yourself on an even keel.

I totally know what you mean about wanting to have your body back. Oh for some sushi, red wine and more exercise!

ak1908 said...

Hi Ellie,
Thanks for stopping by my blog. I'm so sorry to read about all the back and forth in this cycle. As if IF in itself is not bad enough, but now the meds are playing tricks on you. Please know that you'll be in my thoughts and prayers. I will have to check back when I get more time to read some of your older posts so I can familiarize myself with your journey.