Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Day 33 This is going better than I planned

We have 6 days of stimulants under our belts! Ha. That was kind of a literal bad joke since we are having to do the subcutaneous injection right near the belly button. I don't think normal people are going to get my humor now- and DH and I have been laughing at pin cushion jokes every time we have to do the injection process. It's nice to giggle a bit through it, but hard to stop on command when he has to actually inject the needle.
Today I had my blood tests and ultra sound and accupuncture too. It has been day filled Needles.

The ultrasound results are not as great as I had hoped. I have 3 follies on my right side- sized 8, 10 and 15 respectively. We need the 8 and 10 to grow fast- and the 15 to slow down a bit and not become a dominant follie. We have nothing happening on the left side- be nice if it kicked in and produced a few follies as well. I'd hate to have the right ovary go to the party alone! The bloodwork results are good and I go back again for another utlrasound and blood test on Friday. Please take a few minutes out of your day and say alittle blessing for my ovaries-it sounds like they could use alittle help.

Other than feeling a tiny bit disappointed that I don' t have as many follies as I'd like - I am still in good spirits. These things can't all be controlled and sometimes we just have let go and trust that things will work out. It reminds me of when my Dad was explaining to me that the universe would just take care of me if I let it. I was in my late 20s and had just been laid off from a job I dearly loved- and I was crushed. No money coming in and no job potentials in the immediate future and I thought how on earth am I going to live? I had my own apartment at the time and the last thing I wanted to do was move back home- not because I don't want to be with my folks- but because I was trying so hard to bloom and be independent.
My dad sits me down one afternoon and tells me to trust that it will all just get taken care of it I let it happen. And I am looking at him and thinking, "he's gone bonkers." He tells me to light a candle for the next 7 days for 30 minutes a day and for that time to concentrate on giving away the issues that bother me. I figure, heck, why not, it's not like I haven't got extra time- no job, what else am I going to do? I do it. A few days later an outdated life insurance policy contacts me and tells me they are closing their doors and do I want to cash out my old policy? A friend is experimenting with new recipes- do I have time to try some of his dishes? Another friend calls and offers me freelance work for a few days. I don't know if it was the universe taking care of me or just pure luck. I'd like to think it was the universe because it instills a sense of comfort in me -knowing that if I fall someone will pause and help me back onto my feet. It's a nice thought and it's alot less stressful to set my worries aside for a bit each day and just trust that whatever happens it - just happens and I will be ok regardless.

I am pretty good about letting the universe take care of me now. Most often I feel fortunate that I meet so many interesting people and they all seem to be so incredibly nice. What are the chances of that! It's kind of cool, and I try to remember that when I meet someone who isn't really nice, that they proably aren't feeling great- whether it is emotional, or physical, or spiritual- all those can affect us and sometimes when I am feeling mean it is because I hurt. Maybe this is the case with everyone else as well.


Pixxiee said...

Sending good thoughts through the universe to your ovaries! Great attitude...keep that going and you will be home free. It may not happen overnight...but it will happen.

Hopeful Mother said...

I'll be praying for both of our ovaries! Or is that all 4 of our ovaries!? I don't know.

I am suspicious that my right side is more active too. Feeling a lot over there, but not much on the left side. I guess we'll find out tomorrow what's going on in there.

Don't stress too much about the number of follies - quality is definitely better than quantity in this game.

I'll catch up with you sometime tomorrow to see how your u/s and b/w go on Friday.

Keeping The Faith said...

Hi Ellie,
I just wanted to say that you are in my thoughts. You seem really upbeat and positive and that is wonderful. btw- I e-mailed you at from Infertility primary newsgroup. I wasn't sure if you check that e-mail so I thought I'd let you know. Many hugs and lots of support are being sent you way! :-) Take care my friend.

ChicagoGirl said...

Thanks for your kind words on my blog -- it's wonderful to meet you! :) I'm sending lots of good thoughts to your ovaries and I'll check back on your progress often.